


Don't Go

by RosaKei



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, angst? i think? idk, contains manga spoilers, i hope this isnt shit gg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21512527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosaKei/pseuds/RosaKei
Summary: Even after what was thought to be the end of the chaos, Mikasa Ackerman struggles with conflict, confusion and her emotions. The Raven plans to leave for the Kingdom of Hizuru—without a proper goodbye to Eren Jaeger. What is she running away from? What is she afraid of? Are apologies enough to heal?Prompt (by a tumblr user) that inspired this is in Author's notes in the beginning.Contains Manga Spoilers.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 6
Kudos: 90





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Summary Prompt (by a Tumblr user) :  
> The reunion of Eren and Mikasa after Eren comes back from Grisha’s memories. Even though Eren's head got blown away xD, I think that he will transform into his Titan Form. After reading the latest chapter I Think Eren will apologize to Mikasa for everything he did to her after the time-skip and will probably tell her not to join that Kiyomi and the Hizuru Kingdom. Thank you!!!  
> Eren wouldn’t let Mikasa leave for Hizuru because he knows that she loves him and that her love has nothing to do with her Ackermann genetics.  
> Takes Place after the war is finally settled. When Eren apologizes to Mikasa and Armin and ofc to all the members of the 104. Squad  
> I don’t think that Mikasa will accept his apology immediately since she is the Person that got hit the hardest by Eren’s deeds and especially his words in chapter 112

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan /Shingeki no Kyojin nor its characters.**

* * *

It was over.

It was finally over. The war, the chaos.

Eren Jaeger really did it. He ended it, the war, the chaos. But alas, that wasn't all he did. He had also left scars in people's trust, in people's minds and in people's hearts. In order to succeed, he had to hurt others—at least, that was what he thought. Even if he never meant this façade of a betrayal, even if he never meant to hurt others, the words he had said, the actions that he had done could never be taken back now. It would still take time to assuage the pain.

And unfortunately, despite all his efforts, he couldn't save everyone as he intended to.

He still remembered the day he found out about Sasha's passing, her death. It was excruciating, for him… for everyone. _Could it have been avoided… if he had told others about—?_

It didn't matter now. He couldn't change it anymore. It was over. Everything was over now, right?

After the chaos, Eren apologised. From the bottom of his heart, he apologised to Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Levi, Hanji… and the list goes on. (He apologised to Sasha too. Though, he wished he could've told her that face to face.) Some accepted his apology, some were sceptical, and some still had a tiny bit of distrust despite the change of events which proved Eren wasn't at all the villain, despite it all coming to an end.

Though, as he said out his apology among the people that were his comrades, he noticed how one of them looked… _what was the word?_ Well, before he could've even think of a word to match the expression _she_ wore—the expression that caused his heart to throb—she had turned her back and left the moment he finished his long apology. She didn't wait to listen to his answers and explanations when the others question him, nor did she stay to voice any of her own questions. She just… _left._

It was an awfully familiar scene he was witnessing. It reminded him of the day he left, too.

Ever since that day, Eren hadn't seen nor heard of Mikasa Ackerman since.

Perhaps he should've chased her the moment she left. But at that time, something told him not to— and to instead give her some space.

 _Was this how she felt?_ He had wondered as he watched her walk away. _This feeling of agony clawing at your heart when you see someone you care about leave and disappear, without a word?_

Admittedly, if he could right now, he would leave to find her. For the most part, he already had the brief chance to talk to everyone—everyone _but_ her. Ever since the chaos ended, he hadn't gotten the chance to even speak to her personally. However, as much as he wanted to search for the raven now, he couldn't. Because right now, he was being detained behind bars of steel. And he wasn't allowed to leave until after interrogation which purpose was to ensure that he wouldn't do anything that could lead to something disastrous.

It was quite ironic that the supposed hero that saved Paradis from the monsters known as titans, was to be treated as a criminal—for now, at least. There were still some soldiers and even civilians who still strongly distrusted the male. And Eren couldn't blame them, really. Anyone would be suspicious of a person who switched sides and switched back, regardless of the reasoning.

All he could do now was wait. Of course, if he was that desperate, he could easily break out of jail. However, he wasn't that doltish to not know the consequence of doing as such.

On a different note, he hadn't seen any of his squad—well, ex-squad members during his detainment, which was almost two weeks by now. He wasn't sure if any of his ex-squad members were even permitted to visit him. He wasn't even sure if they wanted to see him. And again, he couldn't blame them.

He pondered on what the others were doing… what Armin was doing… what Mikasa was doing…

He hadn't had the chance to have a private conversation with Armin as well. After all, by the time he was done with his apology addressed to the group as a whole as well as answering the questions that they bombarded him with, he was immediately sent to be detained. Granted, he and Armin did exchange a few words when he was answering everyone's questions, but nothing personal was exchanged. Something like that should be done privately, after all.

_As for Mikasa… he hadn't even heard her voice after this war ended._

Eren remembered though, the mixture of relief and conflict in Armin's eyes. He wondered if _she_ had the same look in her eyes when her back was turned as she walked away. Whatever it was, he was pretty sure those two would definitely be the last people he'd expect to visit him.

So, it caught him by surprise when his guard today wore a pair of familiar ocean blue eyes, accompanied by golden blonde hair.

Eren's emerald orbs met Armin's blue hues, they exchanged looks but not words. And yet, Eren knew what he had to say. _He had the same conflicted yet relieved look in his eyes after all._

There was a desk situated near Eren's cell where Armin then placed the bag he brought along down before taking a seat down on a chair. Without a word, he began to pen down some things. It wasn't long till the silence was broken.

"Do you really forgive me?" Eren was the first to speak. From his tone, one could either conclude he was remorseful or exhausted… maybe both. The brunette's emerald orbs look towards the blonde who didn't stop writing. His blue hues were still fixated on whatever he was writing on that paper.

"I do." He finally responded, albeit looking away.

"Do _they_ forgive me?"

Eren didn't need to explain who _'they'_ was. It was quite obvious, after all.

"It takes time to heal," Armin started, "Eventually, they will. I know what you did had our best interest in mind, but… the things you said, the other things you did still, the things that could've possibly been avoided if you had told us your plan from the start, they… you …" For once, Eren witnessed him struggling for a longer than expected time to find the right words. Wanting to save him the trouble, he responded, "I know."

From his side view, Eren noticed the blonde parting his lip, as if to retort. But just as fast as his lips parted, they closed. He didn't see a reason to pester him for an answer, at least not now.

And just as the silence was about to engulf the room, Eren asked another question.

"Does _she_ forgive me?"

This time, Armin halted in his writing. And slowly, he turned towards Eren. Their eyes met again. And even if Armin did _truly_ forgave him, it was undeniable there was still some sort of tension between the two. But who could blame them? They hadn't had a proper conversation since everything was over.

"You're free to go tomorrow," Armin finally spoke albeit ignoring his other query. "Earlier than expected. Basically—"

"What happened to Mikasa?" Eren asked again, this time sounding more assertive. The look of remorse now shifted into a frustrated frown. The fact Armin seemed to be avoiding the subject of Mikasa concerned him—his avoidance of the subject of her couldn't mean anything good.

Armin bit his lip, before taking a deep breathe. There was no dodging the bullet, Armin already knew that. Eren wasn't the only one who noticed Mikasa's disappearance the moment he was done addressing his apology. Armin had too. Aside from the two of them, no one really took notice of her absence. However, unlike Eren, Armin _only_ noticed her leaving when he witnessed a shift of expression on Eren's face back then.

When he gave his apology, he looked genuinely apologetic, sincere, guilty and so on. But, then he suddenly looked so… pained. That's when he noticed Mikasa walking away. _Perhaps,_ Armin thought, _I should've grabbed her hand and stop her from leaving, so that she'd at least have the chance to say something,_ anything _to him._

But he didn't. Because that was something Eren had to handle, not him.

" ' _I don't know. I haven't spoken nor have I talked to her since the day you apologised.'_ " Armin stated before sighing, "That was what I'm _supposed_ to tell you."

Before Eren could interrupt, he continued. "Mikasa might kill me if I tell you. I promised not to say a word. But I figured I wanted to do both of you a favour… and—"

"Spit it out already." Eren's growing impatience was crystal clear. _Some things just don't change, huh?_ He always seemed to recklessly charge straight ahead before anything else… and always preferred to get straight to the damn point.

"Mikasa's leaving for Hizuru tomorrow with Miss Kiyomi."

Eren's eyes widened upon hearing this new news. And as Armin anticipated, he was in denial about it. "What do you mean? You're lying. She wouldn't just leave Paradis when…"

 _When I hadn't gotten the chance to speak to her properly._ That's what he wanted to say. But the moment Armin removed a familiar red piece of fabric from the bag he brought along, Eren found himself at a loss for words.

"She told me to return this to you after she left," He muttered, before he walked over, holding the red scarf close enough for the brunette to take it. "She also said she was leaving because she wanted to return back _'home'_ …" He sighed, before shaking his head. "If only she could be more honest with herself…" Armin mumbled to himself—and he was sure that Eren would know that much, that Mikasa's reason of wanting to return back _'home'_ , wasn't really the real reason.

"I know what you said to her, _about_ her, were things that you didn't mean… things that weren't true. I know what you said was meant to keep us away from you, so we wouldn't be in danger…" Armin said as Eren took the scarf from him. It really was Mikasa's scarf, he could tell… from the almost unnoticeable stitches on it—he remembered how she'd often sew the scarf back when it'd tear during trainings and such. He remembered how he said he'd get her a new one, without considering the irreplaceable meaning behind this scarf she wore. He remembered the sad look she had after he had said it.

He felt his stomach twist. _Why was she returning this scarf to him now? She had always wore it… as if it provided her with some assurance, so why did she…?_

"However as for Mikasa… she's… confused? Lost? Conflicted? You know how she is, she isn't the best with emotions. She… still thinks what you said may be true." Armin sighed before continuing, "So I hope tomorrow morning, you'll be able to open her eyes, to the fact that she isn't _'cattle'_. "

Eren flinched when the blonde had said _'cattle'_ , because he knew what he meant to say was slave—but it was the blonde's attempt of lessening the salt being rubbed into the wound, by censoring that hurtful word he had said… well, more or less.

"…How do you know I'll be able to stop her…?" Eren mumbled out subconsciously. Undoubtedly, he _did_ want to stop her. He… couldn't bare the idea of her leaving, especially when he hadn't had the chance to speak to her. But given the fact she had given the red scarf back to Eren, he wasn't even sure if she wanted to see him, or if she'd even listen to him at this point.

Armin only scoffed, which was followed by a small smile that formed on his lips. "Because you're Eren Jaeger… you would never let someone you care about so deeply, leave for a _reason_ like that."


	2. Mikasa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt stated in first chapter; in Author's beginning notes.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin nor its characters.**

* * *

"… _How do you know I'll be able to stop her…?" Eren mumbled out subconsciously. Undoubtedly, he did want to stop her. He… couldn't bare the idea of her leaving, especially when he hadn't had the chance to speak to her. But given the fact she had given the red scarf back to Eren, he wasn't even sure if she wanted to see him, or if she'd even listen to him at this point._

_Armin only scoffed, followed by a brief laugh. "Because you're Eren Jaeger… you would never let someone you care about so deeply, leave for a reason like that."_

* * *

"Mikasa! Wait!" Armin called out as he ran after her. "You're… You're not serious about leaving are you?"

The meeting had just ended. Kiyomi Azumabito had sent them a letter. In the letter, Kiyomi wrote that she'd like to invite Mikasa to stay over at Hizuru—to which was where the money-eyed woman stated was her home, her _rightful_ home.

_But, Kiyomi didn't state how long she wanted or planned for Mikasa to live there._

All the letter contained were those persuasive words and the time their ship would be at Paradis's docks to escort Mikasa back to her homeland. And should Mikasa agree, she was to meet them at the docks, wearing a ruby necklace (that came along with the letter), which was a welcome gift.

The meeting was short, because Mikasa was the first to speak, and to conclude. "I will go."

Truth be told, everyone was caught off guard by her response. "Mikasa Ackerman," Commander Hanji said in a rather reassuring tone, "Nobody's forcing you."

Whatever Hanji had assumed was Mikasa's reasoning for wanting to leave, was most likely wrong. But Mikasa didn't seem like she was going to correct her anyway. "If you feel obligated to go because you want Paradis to remain on good terms with Hizuru, then—"

"It's not that." She had cut her off, "I… I just want to go back home."

And just like that, the meeting ended. There was no stopping Mikasa, everyone knew that. Plus, this was her choice to make.

Armin watched Mikasa leave the meeting room, feeling a surge of worry running in his veins.

_Because she didn't state how long she planned to stay there either._

And that's how he ended up chasing after her.

. . .

"I'm serious. I already said I want to return home—my homeland. I want to see what it's like." Mikasa stated as she continued to walk. And despite her attempt at sounding convincing, Armin wasn't easily fooled nor tricked by her lies.

"Are you sure you want to leave?" Armin frowned, "You haven't even had the chance to have a proper conversation with Eren!"

Armin knew he was pushing it. He could tell from the way she suddenly froze in her steps that he himself had stepped into a dangerous, sensitive territory. Eren was a touchy subject for her, he knew. But someone had to say it—someone had to remind her what, or _who_ , home actually was.

Silenced diffused into the air. The chilly air grew colder as a cool breeze blew by. Mikasa never knew she'd ever find herself hating the cold this much… it made her miss warmth. A warmth that she once grew so attached that was later forcibly taken away from her by a twisted fate. Her hand went up, wanting to adjust the scarf around her neck… to only realise she wasn't wearing it.

_Ah, that's right… ever since then…_

Mikasa shook her head. _No._ She didn't want to remember any of that now.

"Mikasa?" Armin called out again, but in a gentler tone as his hand reached out, gripping her shoulder tightly. She felt comforted by his gesture, at the same time she still felt a sting in her heart from the words he spouted out earlier.

"… I have nothing to say to him."

 _Lies._ And even Mikasa knew she was lying to herself.

"Try again." Armin murmured, urging her to be a little more honest with herself, "Do you really have nothing to say to him?"

Mikasa bit her lip before she proceeded to admit some truth, "I… don't know what to say to him."

"Trust me, Mikasa… if Eren could've apologised to you personally—if he had the time to apologise to you, to everyone a million times, he would… but he didn't have time, and now he's detained." Armin sighed, "But when he's released, he—" Armin cuts himself off halfway as he noticed a troubled expression forming on his beloved friend's face. And because he knew her for so long, since childhood, he was able to read her like an open book.

"Is what he said back then still bothering you?"

Mikasa flinched, which confirmed his thoughts.

"You know… he didn't mean it. He—"

"He _had_ to." Mikasa completed Armin's sentence, her obsidian coloured eyes meeting his gaze briefly, before staring down at the ground. "I know that…" She muttered.

Yes, for the most part, she knew that he didn't mean what he had said. But there was this haunting voice—and this other small part of her brain—that couldn't help but still believe in his words. There was evidence to support it after all, like how she pinned Armin onto the table when he had tried to attack Eren when he had belittled her.

And as that image flashed in her mind, Eren's distressing words began to echo.

_Do you know what I hate most in this world? Anyone who isn't free._

**Slave. Slave. Slave.**

_I couldn't stand to look an undoubting Slave who only followed every order._

**SLAVE. SLAVE. SLAVE.**

_Ever since I was a kid, Mikasa…_

**Ever since. Ever since. Ever since…**

_I've always hated you._

**HATE. HATE. HATE.**

_**Always.** _

Out of the blue, Mikasa suddenly stumbled as she felt a sharp, and familiar piercing pain in her head. _The headaches never left, huh?_

Armin quickly supported her before she fell, but before he could say anything, Mikasa started to murmur in a stressful way, as if something was haunting her. "I have to leave…I need to… leave… then maybe I…"

Armin's eyes softened as the raven trailed off. To some extent, he knew what Mikasa was trying to do by leaving. To some, travelling across the world would mean one is trying to understand… trying to comprehend, and trying to find themselves. Perhaps that's what Mikasa wanted, to find herself. Or, she wanted to get away, run away… to find some form of distraction. But the blonde knew better—that her leaving and running away wasn't going to resolve anything.

"You're not a slave, Mikasa." Armin said firmly, but he already knew that she would know that he never once saw her as that. Armin knew that these words were what she wanted to hear, it's just… that it _wasn't_ him that she needed to hear those words from. "Remember that time, you defended me from Eren when were kids? You—"

Before she could let Armin finish, she pushed herself away from his support and began to walk off again. "Maybe that was because my Ackerman instincts hadn't fully manifested…" She mumbled.

Armin frowned as he followed after her, "I thought you knew that he didn't mean what he said? You know… his words weren't true, right?"

"I know… I know that he didn't mean what he said, but it doesn't mean what he said wasn't true." And before Armin could retort, he found himself standing in front of the house Mikasa currently resided in. "Wait here." She muttered before entering.

And when Mikasa came back outside, it wasn't what she came out with that surprised Armin, it was what she said next.

"Return this to Eren _after_ I leave…" Mikasa mumbled, as she passed the red scarf to the blonde gently. It took a while for Armin to process what she had just said.

It wasn't like Mikasa to… give away something that she once treasured _so_ much.

"I heard it doesn't snow as often at Hizuru…"She quickly excused.

 _And we're back with the lies_ , Armin thought tiredly.

"Oh, but don't tell him I'm going to Hizuru. Nor this. I wouldn't want to… he doesn't need to know." Mikasa added on, forcing a smile that made the blonde began to lose his patience with her lies.

"Mikasa! You're overthinking this. This scarf… it means a lot to you… Eren… he… Mikasa rethink what you're doing! I know you're still hurt after what Eren said. But… time will eventually assuage the pain you have in your heart. And… Eren didn't mean it! If you just talk to him, I can pro—"

"… Then tell me, Armin…" Mikasa said with the forced smile that remained plastered on her face, "What Eren said to me on that day… is there any proof that what he said was wrong?"

"Yes! Yes there is! Like I said, you…when we were kids, when Eren was talking bad about me, you punched him—"

"—And I also slammed you on the table when you tried to defend me." Mikasa bit her lip as she said this, her tone suddenly overflowing with regret. "I'm… sorry for th—"

"Mikasa." Armin didn't seem interested in her apologies, he was keener in knocking some sense into her. "Please rethink about what you're doing." He persisted.

"…Don't worry." She reassured, and with the smile she had forced on her face, she made her way back towards the door of her house. "You have to face it!" Armin suddenly exclaimed with his fist clenched, "You're running away now… from Eren… from everything… you need to face it! You… Just talk to him, Mikasa!" Despite his pleading tone, Mikasa continued to walk.

_Is she really going to leave?_

By now, Armin knew he can't stop her but he continued. The only person who can stop her right now wasn't here. He was somewhere else, lying in a goddamn cell.

"Why don't you want to talk to him? What's there to be afraid of?!" Armin began to shout. And that's when the next four-word question slips from his tongue, that made the raven paralyse. _"Don't you love him?"_

Once again, Mikasa felt a sharp arrow stabbing her heart, piercing it all over. And just like that, she remembered a question Eren had asked her before.

_What am I to you, Mikasa?_

And honestly till now, she doesn't know. She answered him saying that she saw him as family. But now, with everything… with all these overwhelming emotions. She doesn't know.

Most of all, she doesn't know if what her heart was feeling was due to her raw emotion or due to her Ackerman genetics that supposedly made her cling to Eren.

 _Was everything a sham?_ She wondered. _What am I so afraid of?_

_Ah, that's right._

"I'm afraid… of my emotions." Mikasa didn't care to elaborate on what she meant by that. Regardless, that was the truth. She was never great with handling emotions—especially the overwhelming ones that she was currently suppressing, with much difficulty.

She was afraid of seeing Eren, because he had all the power to evoke one too many emotions out of her. And she was afraid, so afraid that one of those emotions would be associated with the pain she felt during one of the previous meetings she had with Eren.

Most of all, despite all reassurances, there was a small part of her that was afraid of confronting Eren to only hear him say: _Yes, I still think you're a slave._

Maybe Mikasa did love him, and maybe if she stayed, she'd realise how much she was in love with him.

But love can be painful, and it was pain that Mikasa was running away from.

_The world is a cruel place. And sometimes, it can be so cruel to the extent it can make anyone forget about its beauty._

"…and what good will it do to your emotions, Mikasa, if you leave…?"

For some reason, Mikasa felt an itch at her eyes, but she chose to ignore it.

"You're just confused, Mikasa! Just stay and you and Eren will—"

Mikasa turned back towards the blonde before he could finish his sentence, causing him to pause mid-way in his sentence and his eyes to widen. There were tears forming in her eyes.

 _If only she could be more honest with herself… if only she could understand her emotions better,_ Armin thought. After all, those tears of hers that streamed down her cheeks revealed all too much.

It just showed that she was still conflicted, about staying, about leaving… about everything.

"Armin," She said in a tone meant to soothe, though it made him jump a little, "It's getting late. You should go to bed… goodnight."

The raven then reached out for her door knob, twisting and opening it, entering her house… but not without uttering, "Thank you, Armin." before closing the door.

* * *

**At the Dock – The Day when Mikasa is due to Leave for Hizuru.**

* * *

Eren was now running.

The moment he heard the key unlocking his damn cell, he sprinted away and towards the docks. Clenched in his fist were a red scarf and a piece of paper where Armin jotted down the exact location where Mikasa would be at.

As he ran, he began to remember the things Armin said to him the other day…

The things he said about Mikasa.

But before his thoughts could dive any further, he spotted a figure standing at the docks, which he didn't fail to recognize immediately.

"M…Mikasa!" He called out hastily.

_He hoped it wasn't too late._

The figure turned, and his pair of emerald orb finally meets her obsidian orbs that soon widen in shock.

"E-Eren?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: I hope this was okay haha. T-T, like I said, long time since I written something so I hope this isn't shit lmao. I hope I managed to convey Mikasa's conflict and confusion well. The next and last update, which is where the apology scene will occur, will most likely be posted in December (Hopefully, December 1st) since I still have things I want to touch up in part 3, which I feel is still missing stuff. I also really want to focus more on and finish the next chapter for my other two ongoing AOT/SNK fanfictions (Bloodlust and Love) since I hadn't update them for a while due to exams, and I really want to update them before November ends. ALTHOUGH, if Love and Bloodlust are done earlier than expected, part 3 (the last part) will come out earlier too soo, wohoo? Haha.
> 
> Please leave a Review! I would love to hear your thoughts!


	3. Stay

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin nor the characters.**

* * *

_Eren was now running._

_The moment he heard the key unlocking his damn cell, he sprinted away and towards the docks. Clenched in his fist were a red scarf and a piece of paper where Armin jotted down the exact location where Mikasa would be at._

_As he ran, he began to remember the things Armin said to him the other day…_

_The things he said about Mikasa._

_But before his thoughts could dive any further, he spotted a figure standing at the docks, which he didn't fail to recognize immediately._

_"M…Mikasa!" He called out hastily._

_He hoped it wasn't too late._

_The figure turned, and his pair of emerald orb finally meets her obsidian orbs that soon widen in shock._

_"E-Eren?!"_

* * *

As Eren was running, what Armin said about Mikasa the other day had come flashing in his mind.

"…How do you know I'll be able to stop her…?" Eren mumbled out subconsciously. Undoubtedly, he _did_ want to stop her. He… couldn't bare the idea of her leaving, especially when he hadn't had the chance to speak to her. But given the fact she had given the red scarf back to Eren, he wasn't even sure if she wanted to see him, or if she'd even listen to him at this point.

Armin only scoffed, which was followed by a small smile that formed on his lips. "Because you're Eren Jaeger… you would never let someone you care about so deeply, leave for a _reason_ like that."

When Armin had said those words, Eren heaved a heavy sigh as he clenched onto her red scarf tightly. "I can never win an argument with you, you know that?"

The blonde smirked. But before he could respond, Eren continued. "But I have to admit, I'm a little scared…"

It astounded Armin, it really did. It astounded how this man who brought the chaos to an end, who threw his humanity away for the sake of others was _scared_. Though, it couldn't be helped.

"Before you say something sarcastic or taunting," Eren spoke, as if he had predicted his friend's next few words and actions, "I just… I mean, you're right. I'm not the type to easily give up."

Armin raised a brow, "So what's the problem?" He queried.

Eren's eyes briefly looked towards the scarf, before turning and facing back to Armin. "What if she hates me? Though, if she does, I deser—"

"Eren." Armin stopped him before he could've completed his sentence. "Stop doubting. By now, you should very well know how she feels, right?"

And when Eren didn't respond immediately, he continued. _"Do you love Mikasa?"_

The moment that question left the lips of the blonde, he instantly turned away from him, facing one of the brick walls that confined him. Though, the blue-eyed male had already caught a glance of the brunette's widened emerald hues.

That question was so familiar, and Eren knew why.

_What am I to you, Mikasa?_

It was a question he had asked.

Admittedly, it wasn't the same question. But both questions were similar in one sole thing— _feelings._

Right now, as the topic of romance floated in the air, the brunette should be blushing. He should be feeling butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He should feel his heart racing at the mere thought of her.

But he wasn't and it wasn't because he didn't feel _those_ sort of emotions towards her.

He felt pain and regret for saying harsh things to her. But at the same time, if he hadn't said those harsh things to severe their bond, he knew she'd continue to chase after him, endangering herself. The last thing he wanted was her to get tangled up into affairs that she shouldn't be in— that he didn't want her to be in.

 _I want to be the one protecting you instead._ He had promised himself, back then.

He didn't know when he caught such feelings for her. He just knew another powerful, overwhelming emotion had always belittled that little spark of touching feelings.

 _Revenge._ Revenge and Anger were something he felt for so long. And sometimes, they tend to drown the other emotions he felt.

He now felt pain, because he wasn't sure if these _new_ blossoming feelings that decided to grow deserved to be reciprocated by her.

Not to mention, this was the first time he ever felt these sort of feelings. _This_ feeling. He didn't know how to deal with it or how to act on it.

It was all just new, _too_ new to him.

Unknown to Eren, he had been subconsciously gripping the red fabric even tighter, as if he feared to let go. And though Armin was unable to face him now, he smiled. Because at least _that_ could confirm something.

"The war's finally over, Eren." Armin started calmly, "Before you decide to lose your determination overnight, and decide to let go of her, I suggest you let go of your anger, your vengeful heart and your burden as 'humanity's last hope'."

"It's over, Eren." Armin continued, "Let loose and sink yourself in the freedom you returned to Paradis. Open up your heart to new feelings and embrace them." The blonde smiled a little. "Mikasa... she… most likely has a lot of things to say to you. And like I said, you're Eren Jaeger. I'm pretty sure even if you tell yourself that it's okay to 'give up', your instinct will just pull you out. Because I know Eren Jaeger wouldn't let Mikasa Ackerman leave for a reason like that."

When he didn't respond, Armin turned his back, about to take his leave. He already said his part, now it was just up to Eren.

"What about you?" He finally voiced out the moment the blonde took a step away, about to leave. "Don't you have a lot of things to say to me too?"

"Yeah," Armin scoffed. "A lot. A lot of questions. But," He turned, to see Eren turned towards his direction a little. He took a brief glimpse at him before turning back, and continued with his walk as he said, "But, I'm not the one leaving tomorrow, am I?"

* * *

Now, Eren was face-to-face with Mikasa.

There was a brief silence between the two, until Mikasa noticed the red scarf Eren held, and Eren noticed the red ruby necklace on her neck.

" _Why did you bring that here?"_

" _Why are you wearing that?"_

They both said in synch, before Eren bit his lip and Mikasa looked away.

Mikasa should've known Armin would've done something like this. A part of her wished she had trusted this scarf to a stranger to return it to Eren. Because she knew even if she had asked Connie, Jean or even that damned midget, it'd still be in his hands before she left. But then again… she couldn't bring herself to trust a stranger to be responsible for returning that red piece of fabric.

Maybe she still cared for that scarf after all.

"Because this doesn't belong to me." Eren was the first to answer. "It belongs to _you_." He sounded firm, and it reminded how stubborn he could be. She already knew how persistent he was going to be.

"It should be around your neck, instead of that." He referred to the red ruby necklace around her neck, to which was to act as a welcome gift for Mikasa if she chose to return back to Hizuru. For one reason or another, Eren didn't like the fact that that was around her neck, instead of her scarf which had been gifted by him a long time ago.

Even if Armin never told him what that red ruby necklace was or meant, he already knew. He wasn't naïve nor so dense to not understand.

"It's a gift." Mikasa murmured, albeit still looking towards the ocean. She couldn't bring herself to look at him, not now at least. "That's why I'm wearing it."

Eren frowned. "So is this." He argued back, raising the scarf. But she didn't turn around. "And it's yours. It's not mine, Mikasa." He sounded softer now, and she noticed.

It ached her heart so much to hear the softer side of the brunette speak. She didn't know how long she had last heard it… but she knew it was most likely a long time. To say she missed it was an understatement.

She felt herself slowly sinking in her vulnerability. _Why did Eren had this power over her? To make her feel so…_

Maybe she was a slave to him after all, to her Ackerman genes.

Mikasa chose not to say anything, in fear that she might say something that might just reveal all too much, all things that she might not even know or rather, acknowledge yet.

But, alas, Eren said some words that just made her want to reply.

"I'm sorry." It was a personal apologise, and there wasn't a faintest insincerity in his tone. It was a genuine apology, one of sorrow.

"For what?" She murmured, still looking away. Her question wasn't meant to give him a cold shoulder. She was genuinely curious of what he was sorry for. And a malicious voice in her head whispered doubts in her ear, convincing her that if anything, the last thing he was sorry for was calling her a slave.

But that wasn't the case.

"For everything." Eren answered, and the softness in his tone remained. "I'm sorry for everything."

Mikasa finally turned around. Though, with a distressed expression all over her face.

She had a million things she wanted to say to him. She wanted to shout at him. She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to say something in a similar soft tone to him. She wanted to speak with him gently. She wanted to cry out to him, in both anger and sadness. She wanted those feelings that she had deep down, to come out and reveal themselves.

But all that came out was one painful sentence.

"I'm still leaving for Hizuru."

And the moment those words left her lips for Eren's ears to hear, Mikasa saw something she hadn't seen in a long time.

There was sadness in Eren's eyes. Or maybe it was misery, or pain. Maybe all three. For a long time, Mikasa hadn't seen such despondent and heart-wrenching emotions in him. Even during the war, he looked… empty. But perhaps, that was just a mask he had worn to trick the enemy. A mask so convincing that she had failed to see through it completely. And she wondered, how long had he been feeling this way? Since Sasha's death…? Or since the day he left that conference…? Or, was it much earlier?

She recalled seeing him cry in his sleep, under a tree at the young age of nine or ten. Apparently, he had been having a bad dream that he had no recollection of. And with all these revelation about the history of Ymir and the titans, changing the future… she could only wonder what he had seen back then which had pushed him to tears.

It took Mikasa a fleeting moment to realise that her heart was beginning to ache. And she wasn't too blur to not know why. Though, she may not _fully_ understand why.

Seeing Eren look like that… pained her.

The words Eren had said to her back then began to ring in her ears.

_What am I to you, Mikasa?_

She answered, _'family'_ , back then. But even back then, she knew she was just lying to herself… or rather, she found it hard to convey such complex emotions at that time. He was more than just family to her.

For a long time, Mikasa Ackerman was in love with Eren Jaeger. Despite the amount of times he had pushed her away and even hurt her feelings during the times where he had to put her in place, her love for him remained unwavering.

It wasn't just because he saved her back then, and had given her a second chance at life. It was much more than that. She admired his strength and his determination. But at the same time, she had always feared that those two things would drive him towards a fate leading to death. He had been stubborn, hot-headed and impulsive. _If he wanted something, he was going to get it no matter what._ And maybe that was why the raven had been more inclined to display her protective nature towards him. Because unlike Armin, there were several times he did things without thinking twice or without logic.

Though admittedly, the Eren standing in front of her now, seemed to have outgrown that hot-tempered phase of his. He looked and seemed more mature now, if anything.

She also loved him because of the warmth he gave her. He taught her how to live, and gave her comfort during tough periods in life. Though, he might not know this. He always did such… touching things without knowing that he did.

But the day he called her a slave, she felt the coldness sweep over her, extinguishing most, if not all the warmth he had given her. Even if he had come out and told the truth, that he hadn't meant anything he had said, and that it was all just a part of his scheme to achieve the peace and freedom that everyone had now… the hurt remained. And Mikasa wanted to get away from it.

She wasn't sure if her supposedly unwavering love had been extinguished along with his warmth at that time, but she knew she felt one thing back then: _pain._

The man she came to love had called her a slave, and had also more or less claimed that any feelings she had held for him were all due to some Ackerman instinct and genetics. And then she felt another emotion: _confusion._ She couldn't believe that this man who taught her how to live, threw her off to suffer in some sort of identity crisis.

Even till now, she was still confused. Because now, in the present, she didn't know what she felt for him. Perhaps she did still have that unwavering love for him, because deep down, even at that time, a tiny flame in her heart which had survived from the brunette's sudden coldness, had refused to believe that that man was the boy she grew up with, the boy she came to love and the boy who willingly saved her. That small part of her refused to believe that that was Eren Jaeger talking. As for the majority part of her… it had all sunken into despair, believing this fake truth he had said about the Ackerman genetics.

His words had bothered her so much to the extent that she had even reached out to that midget during Eren's detainment after the war.

"Hah? Slave? Ackerman genetics?" Levi had scoffed. "I don't know what that shitty brat is talking about. But as long as you're a living, breathing thing, you have the choice of freedom, nobody else dictates that. They can throw you in a shitty dirty cage, but as long as you keep fighting and refuse to submit, you're no longer tied down or trapped."

Perhaps if Mikasa prolonged the conversation, her glum mind-set would've changed just a little from that Ackerman talk. But instead, she only nodded, murmured a thanks as she made her way towards the door. And all she thought was this: _Can slaves even fight back?_

Before she left his office, almost as if he read her mind, Levi said one last thing to her, "Oi, gloomy brat." Mikasa paused in her steps briefly, and maybe if she hadn't been in a sullen mood that day, she'd have retorted and called him a shortass. "You're not a slave."

Armin had also told her that. To no avail, the raven was still… uncertain. And she still didn't know why. To reiterate, after Eren's apology and revelation that he had been fooling the enemy all along, she then had some sort of awareness that the things he said back in that room were all fake, that it was just a façade. _So why?_ Why did she still feel so—

" _You're not a slave, Mikasa."_ That was Eren talking.

_Perhaps, pain can blind people, and maybe it blinded Mikasa from accepting the fact that she wasn't a slave to her genetics. Emotions have strong powers like that._

The raven's eyes widened and before she knew it, her own pain began to pool in her eyes. She was crying.

"I'm sorry for calling you that. I… didn't realise the extent it'd have affected you." Eren murmured as he took a singular step forward, only for the raven to take a step back. He bit his lip. If he had known his words would've hurt her so deeply, then maybe he would've said something else.

Mikasa suddenly felt anger arising in her, accompanied by other emotions she had been bottling up ever since Eren came back to their side. Or maybe, ever since a longer time. And all those emotions, came out in her scream.

"You're… just saying that!" She cried, "Armin told you to say that didn't he?!" Mikasa already knew the amount of opposition her childhood friend had of having her leave like this. It wouldn't surprise her if he had convinced Eren to say things like that for the sake of her staying. For all she knew, this was a lie, too.

Those words he had said—about her not being a slave—were something she wanted to hear from him for quite a while now. She didn't think she'd have actually heard it. So when he had actually said it… she couldn't believe it. She found it hard to believe. She was still in denial that he actually ran for her, to stop her from leaving.

_Did he… really not see her as a slave?_

"He didn't!" The brunette fiercely retorted, "He told me you were leaving! I came here to stop you out of my own will! How… How could I let you leave like this? How could you leave without even saying a goodbye? Before I could ever have a chance to talk to y—"

"I…! I… I was afraid, Eren. _Afraid._ " She finally admitted, having cut him off, "I'm a coward, fine I admit that. I am running away from _you_. Isn't this what you want?"

Eren blinked in disbelief. "Since when did I ever say that I wanted you to leave—"

"If I leave you, then I'm not a slave to you anymore right? I won't be tied down to my Ackerman instincts anymore, right? If I am away from you then—"

Mikasa halted in her sentence mid-way upon noticing that his sad eyes were now leaking tears. He was crying too. Seeing Mikasa like this… just made Eren feel so sad, because he had unintentionally made her this way—that she still thought she was a slave. He had wanted to protect everyone, her included, so desperately. He wanted to save everyone from being trapped, he wanted to give everyone freedom beyond the walls. And yet, he failed to do so for the person he had cared for so deeply.

"I'm sorry." He said again, but with more anguish that Mikasa didn't fail to notice. "But Mikasa… you're not a slave. Really, you aren't. What I said back then… about you clinging to me because of your genetics… it isn't true. It was never true. I know. I know you did that ever since we were kids because you cared."

Eren was no longer blind to what Mikasa felt or what she had done for him all this time. He wasn't a little reckless boy anymore, for the most part at least.

When she didn't respond he continued, "And… ever since we were kids, Mikasa… I…"

Those familiar words caused her eyes to widen, they sounded extremely familiar and she knew why.

It was those words that had been haunting her for quite a while now. And she began to tremble, because she was afraid of what he might say next.

_Ever since we were kids, Mikasa. I've always hated you._

She was afraid that he was going to say that next. But she was wrong, _so wrong._

" _I've never hated you_. Not even once. Even when I shouted at you, I've never hated you." It was the honest tone he had and the fact he had sounded so genuine that convinced her that this was the truth. From the way his eyes were still watery, from the way that his eyes still looked so soft… that she knew he wasn't lying about that. And Mikasa didn't take a step back this time.

"I don't know when it was… when it all started… but Mikasa, for a while now… I… I—" Eren was cut off by the sound of a ship's horn. Immediately, the two young adults turned to the ocean to see a ship with the same crest that was carved into Mikasa's skin approaching.

The sun slowly began to wake up, and Eren didn't have much time left before the ship approached the shores of Paradis.

"Please don't go." He quickly said. "Is… freedom what you want?" He suddenly asked.

Mikasa only looked back towards him, with tears still streaming down her face. She didn't know what to believe anymore.

_Why did emotions have to be so complicated?_

But to Eren's question, the answer was obvious enough. _Who wouldn't want freedom?_

"Then stay, please." He was pleading. "I…I will take away whatever pains you. I will remove the pain I gave you. I… I'll make you happy, Mikasa. I won't make you sad anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pushing you and everyone away. I wanted to carry this burden alone, so you and everyone else wouldn't suffer. I wanted to finally put an end to everything, and achieve freedom. That's why I said what I said. To severe bonds, because I didn't want to risk any of you. And I regretted it. I still regret it… what I said to you. I didn't think it'd… I… Mikasa, you are _not_ a slave. You were never and will never be one. You… you are an amazing person, Mikasa. You… are free now, _here,_ so don't let my stupid and untrue words trap you."

And just like that, she began to cry even more. Not because she still felt like he was lying. But because for the first time for as long as she could remember, her heart felt something other than pain from him. It felt touched.

And then, she felt a warm piece of fabric began to wrap itself around her neck. It felt nostalgic. This warmth was nostalgic. She missed it. She craved it. She loved it. It had always comforted her during cold times. Though, unlike last time, it seemed the matured male knew how to tie her red scarf more properly this time. "Remember… that time? When I said I'd wrap this around you as many times as you want."

She nodded slowly. And before Eren could continue with his sentence, Mikasa murmured a question, "Why… do you want me to stay?"

Eren smiled a little, yet it looked so sorrowful. _Shouldn't it be obvious why?_

"Because, Mikasa… you mean a lot to me, and I don't want to let you go." He mumbled softly, and he slowly closed the distance between them. The raven grew nervous, her heart was palpitating—and suddenly, she found herself melting in his warmth the moment she felt his sudden embrace.

 _When was the last time he had hugged her?_ The last time she remembered, the younger Eren was always bashful and shy towards hugs, so he was barely the one doing the hugging.

"You're more than family to me, Mikasa…" He whispered softly into her ear, and Mikasa couldn't tell if it was because of her scarf that her cheeks suddenly felt warm. "Mikasa… I… I l—"

"Sorry to ruin the moment!" A voice erupted, and interrupted the two. Reluctantly pulling away, the two turned to see Kiyomi Azumabito's ship having reached their docks.

 _How long had they been there already…?_ It seemed like the two of them had been too caught up in the moment. The sun was already up.

Despite the fact the raven now wore her red scarf, Kiyomi's eyes had been sharp enough to notice the red ruby necklace she wore underneath it. "Ah, so I see you've accepted our invitation!" She exclaimed with delight. A platform was slowly lowered for Mikasa to enter the ship. "Come aboard! We don't have all day. The earlier we leave, the earlier we'll arrive back to your home!"

Kiyomi gave a brief hidden signal to the guards, she wasn't going to let that boy stop her from bringing the last descendant of the Azumabito back to Hizuru. If the girl willingly wanted to return home, she didn't want to have any hindrances that could prevent her from doing as such. Once the platform was lowered, two guards came down and awaited for her to board the ship safely.

Mikasa's hand raised up and wiped her tears away. And slowly, she took a small step back away from Eren. "Sorry, Eren." She murmured as she carefully and gently removed the scarf from her neck. "Hold onto this for me." She smiled.

Eren's eyes widened as she placed the scarf in his hands and began to walk away, towards the ship. "Mikasa?! Wait—" Before he had the chance to chase after her, the two guards immediately held him back.

"Mikasa! Wait, no! Mikasa!" He called out, his tone growing desperate after each call—the same went with his struggles. But the raven continued to walk onto the platform, up towards Kiyomi who couldn't hide her smirk.

Now, Mikasa was one step away from entering the ship. But, that's when she stopped. Kiyomi raised a brow. "What are you waiting for?" She said calmly. "It's best not to associate with a man who may be regarded as a criminal." She added, as if to clear any doubts the raven had.

Except, all her doubts had already been cleared.

"Sorry." She apologised to Kiyomi as her hands reached for behind her neck, taking off the necklace and then handing it back to her. "I'm not going to Hizuru." She smiled as she turned back to the brunette who stopped struggling in the guard's grasp. "I'll stay here. This is my home after all."

After apologising to Kiyomi for more or less wasting her time, the money-faced woman only heaved a heavy sigh. She was disappointed. She couldn't believe that she didn't want to return back to Hizuru. But, she knew she couldn't force her back against her will, the last thing she wanted was to raise tensions between her and Paradis, and maybe even with that green-eyed male. She didn't wish to start an argument with her nor be on bad terms with her. "You're always welcomed to visit, young one." With that, the ship left and they parted.

Mikasa rushed over to Eren, the soft smile still plastered on her lips. "You scared me there." He sighed as he scratched the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry." Mikasa apologised, which was accompanied with a small light-hearted laugh. "I just wanted you to hold onto the scarf so I could return the necklace."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to say it in a way that made it seem like you were really going to leave…" He murmured, and Mikasa swore he was pouting. How long has it been since she last saw him this childish?

She then started to laugh a little, she couldn't contain it. And it seemed Eren caught onto it as he began to laugh too.

Meanwhile, somewhere behind a tree, there stood a blonde who sighed in relief. "I guess, I was worried for nothing." He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Finally done with this mini-series! I might add an epilogue when I have time haha. For now, I'll mark this as completed. And lol, Kiyomi and her ship cutting off Eren words. Who knows what he was going to say… hm. Oh well haha :). On another note, I hope this was an okay last chapter!
> 
> Please Leave a Review! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Hello! This will be a 3 part story. I want to apologise to anyone reading in advance if the characters seem Out of Character at any point of time. It has been a while since I last wrote Attack on Titan Fanfictions and stuff. So, I also apologise if my writing has become worse than it already was haha; Plus, I'm still not over my own moody angst after my painful exams sigh lmao so I hope that won't affect my writing haha
> 
> Ps: If you're reading my other two fanfics, Bloodlust and Love, I'm writing them real soon, expect an update this month (hopefully ahah)
> 
> On another note, you can find me at tumblr at: rosaline-kei
> 
> Anyways, Please Leave A Review!


End file.
